Trapped in a prison of my own making.
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photo source: wikipedia
Eastern State Penitentiary |
What do I mean by this, and even more importantly, how did this happen?
Years ago I posted a column entitled, "paradigm shift." Paradigm shift in this situation meant changing the way I looked at certain cars, it was changing my perceptions of MY reality about old cars. This lead to big change in the kind of cars I became interested in.
Classic hot rods for example, and muscle cars from the 60's and 70's fell off my radar because they had reached a price point that made them too expensive. In my view they were not worth that price. At least to me.
As a result I drifted into the Jaguar camp where I saw that there was quite a bit of low hanging fruit. Unfortunately, this was also what Eve noticed in the Garden of Eden, before she made her pitch to Adam!
Things went along well for awhile.
I was the guy with the energy, zeal, knowledge, and passion that could turn one of these old Jags into a rewarding experience.
A post or two ago I elaborated on my experience with fixing up my '70 Mustang coupe.
As I explained it was my attempt to make an end run around the high price of 70's Pony cars.
Unfortunately it was both a success and a failure.
It was success in that the car was returned to a presentable driver level.
A failure because it didn't result in a car that I really wanted to hold onto, though I could have.
There was nothing really wrong with the car as it was. Sure it wasn't fast, didn't stop that quickly, and it didn't get the kind of gas mileage that I would have liked, but a little more tweaking and work would have significantly improved some of these areas.
It just needed a bit more commitment and dedication that I denied it when I put it up on the block.
Of course I didn't make make all the money back that I had invested. Of course.
So now I consider my XJS. I bought it cheap and it was actually in pretty good shape, The body and paint are all original, the motor is in good shape and it is running very well, The top was very poor, the driver's seat is a mess and the transmission was going out. Not to mention that the a/c is out, the suspension is worn out and the windows didn't work. Of course I wasn't deterred, I mean it was old and cheap. I could have easily paid three or four times more for a better example.
Of course I would apply my knowledge, zeal, passion, labor, etc. and a bit of money and come out ahead by owning a fantastic car. Of course!
However, I now find myself reluctant to spend any money on what it needs. Now that I have a little bit of money tightly held in my hand I don't want to let it go carelessly.
The last couple of days I've convinced myself that I should spend the dough. I even went by the convertible top shop that did my '96 Mustang to get an estimate on the replacement. I need to contact the indie Jaguar shop and let them give me an actual estimate on fixing the suspension. It's time to make an informed choice.
My reasoning is that unlike my 70 Mustang, the XJS is a cool and desirable car. It's not like I need to update the engine, brakes and even replace the wheels. I just need to fix the basic things now, and work my way through the other problems as I can. In the end I won't have a particularly valuable car, I'd probably still be upside down with it, but at least I would own a car that I really like and can take pride in. Something that I will actually want to hold onto.
Over the last couple of weeks I begun to work through my feelings of being self conscious when driving it, and I am even starting to enjoy the actual process of driving it. I was starting to think that I might actually go through with my plans.
I've been looking at all kind of replacement cars and I'm starting to feel that I'm not too excited in what I see. I even told my Wife that I should just stick with what I have.
That was at least until this afternoon.
I drove my XJS to take a tour of the Wheels and Deals consignment lot. There were some nice cars there, a 1990 300 ZX, several older Zs, a Mercedes SL500 a Mercury Marauder, and a couple of other things.
As I was walking down a row of cars I saw something that just blew my mind!
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It is as nice as this picture. |
I saw MY car parked there! It was red 1990 XJS convertible with a black top. Except unlike mine, the top looked brand new, the interior was the same tan color but the seats were almost perfect and sported contrasting red piping. There weren't even any dings in the sides. The wheels were silver painted alloy with the correct Pirelli tires fitted. Wow! I'm not kidding when I say that the car looked brand new. It is a two owner car with service records, and the owner's manual in the glove box. The windows and radio work and the veneer on the ski slope has only a couple of hair line cracks. I don't know if the a/c works but it was enthusiastically blowing out a storm of air. The odometer read just over 62,000 miles! Egads!
I knew that there were XJSs out there in this condition, but I usually saw them offered at around 15,000 dollars in Octane magazine. I had never seen one this good offered for sale locally.
So how much were they asking for this gem? The sign said: lowered to 7,200.00!
Would it be smarter, easier, cheaper and better to just buy this car, instead of fixing mine up? It has 45,000 less miles (though I don't consider my 107 k to be particularly high). If the suspension is up to snuff, then this is a car that I could just buy and enjoy, right now! What kind of heresy is this? I could take some road trips with my Wife who thinks my red XJS is just gorgeous. That makes it only the second old car that I've ever bought that my Wife actually thinks is attractive. She liked the lines of my '66 Riviera so much, that she could see the beauty that was there, even through the faded, ugly old paint and funky interior. Believe me, that doesn't happen very often!
This a car that I could use and preserve and fuss over. Washing, waxing, keeping it covered up and treating and cleaning the leather. A beautiful example that I could cherish and maintain. I've even got a spot in the garage to keep it in.
But then what about my plans for my existing car? With a car this nice, it could become the focus of my "collection." But maybe, I wouldn't even need a collection if I had a single car this nice. Maybe I've had a bunch of old cars to compensate for the fact that none of my cars were that nice.
I could sell my XJS, the XJ6, the Mark VII and probably even the '96 Mustang! I think I could get 2,000 bucks for the XJS, 1,500 for the XJ6 and maybe a grand for the Mark VII. Even at just 1,500 dollars for the Mustang, that's 6,000 dollars. Reducing my cost for the '90 XJS to a little over a grand. That looks like a real bargain!
But what about all my "crafty car guy-ness" that defines who I think that I am? Am I betraying my "code?" Is there anything wrong with abandoning my plans for even more hard work in the garage? Would I be taking the "easy" way out? Or could this be seen as the "smart" way out?
Do I even want to buy virtually the same car that I already have? Do I like having of having an XJS that much?
I've found that I do like having an XJS, but it is hard for me to think about just buying a car without the intention of fixing it up. Probably because for years, I've never had the money to splurge on something like that, that was just for myself.
I have bought nice cars in the past, cars that I bought and then just expected to drive, not rebuild it first.
My '77 Cadillac, '92 300 ZX, '94 Cadillac Seville STS. All bought used, but only a few years old.
It's kind of funny, because I haven't bought many new cars in my life, most of the new cars were bought as family cars: the '84 Cougar, the 1990 Dodge minivan, the '07 Mustang.
The only new vehicles that were specifically mine were my '90 Honda Civic SI (bought for me by my Wife) and the '07 F150.
I kind of got in the habit of buying old stuff to satisfy my enthusiast's needs. Money has been needed for important stuff like buying a house and taking care of the family, not buying some kind of interesting hobby car.
So I've gotten used to buying old cheap stuff instead, that needs a lot of work. Things that never end up as nice as I would have hoped for. But the important thing,
is that I work on them. That is who I am. This has become my paradigm.
The whole DIY car thing is just a part of my entire DIY view of the universe. It has helped me to save money in the past. Although it has not always been appreciated, because no money was ever spent in the past to get things done by someone else. I have painted myself into a corner, because well, who else am I going to let paint my floor?
That's why it's a prison of my own building that I've put myself into. It makes me uncomfortable to think of changing things up.
Still, I should not let the perfect be the enemy of the barely good enough. If there is a better, more economical, and easier way of doing something I should not reject it out of hand. Just because it rocks my boat.
I know that I am holding on to certain beliefs, attitudes and behavior patterns that may now actually be counter productive. A new priority is preserving my health and body so I can complete those last few years of employment that I still need.
Change is coming, like it or not. I'm coming to the end of the road when I could do all the heavy work myself. I'm coming to the end of the road where I
want to do all the work myself. But I can still do
some of the work myself.
This is a car related task that I need to figure out in my head, not my garage!
Crunching numbers to determine if buying that '90 Jag is the better path, depends on the cost of the two major expenses that I'm looking at with my '89. Replacing the convertible top and rebuilding the steering/suspension and brakes.
I'm not naive enough to think that that '90 would be perfectly reliable, just like a new car. A thirty year old car with such low mileage has certainly sat for extended periods. It looks like it sat in a garage, but it was sitting nonetheless. I'm pretty sure that some bugs would pop up. There would probably have to be some shaking down. It possible that the suspension would also need to be refreshed. The ad stated that the radiator had been replaced, along with some other work. Did the car overheat before the radiator was replaced? I don't know, that could spell trouble.
On the other hand, my car is a known quantity. I know that the engine runs cool and well. I know that the transmission is good. That knowledge is valuable and contributes to the value of the car.
The most important thing is for me is to keep an open mind. The mind remains free even when trapped behind bars.